Sunday, September 13, 2009 5:53:00 AM
I feel like Im closer to Allah when I was back at home in Singapore. I attended camps during Ramdhan, I qiyam-ed at the mosque, I tarawih-ed with friends, I breaked fast with them, my Ramadhan were well, I can say, a bit more coulourful. With family & friends. With people I love. I was happy.
Seniors said Ramadhan here are more meaningful. Muslims really show the meaning of Ramadhan. They share their dates, their drinks, their meal for breakfast, they give salam to everyone, the imams at the mosques with their beautiful Al-Quraan recitations, they really celebrate Ramadhan.
But again who says there arent any of those things in Singapore. We are just being unfair. We share foods too in Singapore, we give salams too in Singapore. It's really, just you. It's not where you celeb your Ramadhan. Really. For if i feel best to fast with my family and friends, for there is where the sincere will grow insyAllah, hence definitely would make my Ramadhan the most meaningful one. I miss my home ):
Hmmm, I guess Im not up to that level yet. Still searching. And it's 7 more days till Syawal. & I'm still searching ): My life is sad. My Ramadhan here is dull. Well maybe I read the Quraan more, but then, what's the point ? I still feel lesser.
I could stay up all night and deevote my self to my lappy, but I couldnt bring my self to walk to the mosque and meet Allah for just a few hours. I dont know. But I'm the kind where I would stop doing something if I find there's something in my heart feeling the wrong thing, feelings that I shouldn't be having. I hate those feelings. So what if people see I do good deeds, but when deep inside Im just not doing it sincerely. I'd better stop and sit at home and make notes to myself until I get back to the right track.
yes ? no ?
I really miss Ramadhan in Singapore. I think it's the best. For people like,
me.
I'm done. See you guys again, insyAllah.
